We didn't succumb all the way did we? Not really. I would sit sometimes in the morning and you would come and sit beside me and we would both look out in the yard or the road that passed the house and at the stars beyond. We knew there was a wild, wide wonderful world out there somewhere and we did not know quiet why it didn't belong to us. My world was the washing dishes, the working to pay the bills- yours was the smallest joys- the favorite patch of grass to lie in- the coming home of the kids or your Daddy Bubba coming through the door or that piece of leftover steak or bone when supper was over. Still - we knew. That is when you would give me the smile.

 

You had a wiggle like Marilyn Monroe except bow legged in your rear. You used to love and run and play, act silly- sleep in my bed when I worked at night. Did you ever wonder why other dogs got to run around and you didn't? Or why a cat or squirrel would walk by so you could bark?

As you grew older, sometimes you could have the saddest eyes. What were you trying to tell me? I tried to understand, we all did, but you knew. Still you didn't complain, even that last trip outside to go potty. You tried so hard but you were just so tired. You tried to do what you were asked but it was just too much. Because before that we could see that far away look in your eyes. You never would lay down in wet, cold grass before, but somehow you couldn't get up. Still you tried. And before you took your last breaths - you looked up at me and Daddy as if to say " I tried so hard" like you were trying to comfort us! But you and I knew. You needed permission to let go. Me and Daddy told you " its ok" and you just laid over in your usual comfy position and took your last breath. That place where you died will forever be "Nikki's spot". That special spot where you said with your big brown eyes, " Happy New Year Mom and Dad - I'm sorry, but I've got to go now" and you closed your eyes forever.

Goodbye Sweet Nikki......For Auld Lang Syne